The Wagons

Let's list those wagons now, there in no particular order,

• Weightloss wagon - how did that creep upto needing to loose nearly 40kgs???


• Domestic Goddess Wagon - I don't really like that term cause I don't think a goddess would need to care or think about housework but I am suffering really bad from CHAOS. Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome (google Flylady for more info)


• Know What I am Going To Be When I Grow Up Wagon - gawd.... can I be 9 again when I knew I wanted to be lawer or 5 when I wanted to be an astronought??


• Be Happy Don't Worry wagon - pretty self explanatory really.


• The No Addiction Wagon - food, internet and TV are the BIG ones.


• Be Upfront wagon - cause I hate confrontation and this means I am slightly passive aggressive and I don't like it


• Get A Life wagon - I don't have many IRL friends and that is my fault. I need to make changes so I do.


• Creative wagon - I have all this energy that needs to be channelled, I am interested in a lot of crafts but have lot's of excuses why I just can't do it... This needs to stop


• Present Mother wagon - you know actually playing games and doing stuff for the fun of it, not cause it has to be done.
  

Now that might not seem like a lot but it's all the crates that go in them that make it complicated. Just that list in itself is enough to have me ducking for cover and left me feeling hugely overwhelmed.


I can hear you all saying is that all I need to do is set goals and break it down, that if you don't take the time to plan for success then you are planning for failure yadda yadda yadda.... but that means I have more to do before I can even start.

I did read this blog (and when I get more tech savvy I will post links I promise :p) that suggested, when you need to change things use the 30 day trial technique. The idea being that you tell yourself that you are going to do whatever, you are trying to achieve, everyday for 30 days with no commitment to continue after that. So you are tricking your brain by telling yourself that this is a strictly short-term thing with no commitment to keep going (I am liking this lack of commitment thing) and in the meantime by doing it every day for 30 days you pass that magic "it takes 21 days for something to become a habit" and really cement it into your routine for another 7 days. I did try it once and it lasted 7 days.... 7 days... I was so proud of myself but even then I can't commit for longer - argghhhhh.



I have decided however to look at this in a different way to how I would normally view it. I may not have made it to the 30 days, I may not have it ingrained as a habit yet but I did do it everyday for 7 days... where as before I couldn't even do it for 2 days in a row.



So I know this is going to be a slow journey, I know that I have a lot to change but I have a good foundation, I am going to use bit's of everything and start slowly, really slowly and hope it all picks up momentum and I can start to ride all of those wagons.

Love, light and blessings
Kelebek

Getting Back Up

So I have always been a fluffer... can talk a lot about nothing much at all. It was common to be told as I was growing up that I could talk under wet cement. My first couple of blog posts are a testament to this but occasionally I need to be serious cause I really am a serious person and a big worrier. I just try and hide it under all this bravado. I also think to appreciate the fun in life you have to deal with the serious stuff too.


Life is full of up's and down's and the worst downer I have experienced is death. It is getting my head and heart to the same place that is hard. I believe in cycles and that we are reincarnated after death. I believe that for the person who is dead that they are in a better place not burdened by human emotions. The only certainty in life is death, each day you are alive is a day closer to your death. So this logically should mean that death is ok and is inevitable

BUT I hate it, hate, hate, hate it. It can stop now... I don't need to experience it anymore. I have learnt my lessons. Which are never answer or call mum when she has something bad to tell me or when there is a pause in her voice.

I have learnt that life is precious.

I already know this but there are some things that really drive it home, like when I...

• experienced a little baby's death; I now appreciate that I am alive and I need to be grateful for my life.


• experienced an old man's death I appreciate the family and friends that I share this life with. I learn that life isn't a race but does need to be enjoyed.


• experienced a young man's death, that left behind a young family, I realised the fragility of life and how things can change in an instance. I need to do the things that make me happy and incorporate my responsibilities into that.


• experienced a young woman's death, who also left behind a young family, I realise how important I am to those around me and so I need to let them know how much I love and care for my friends and family. I need to walk my talk.

I am still struggling with these deaths, I still get upset at random shit... But I am finding it easier to get back up. Doesn't mean I don't have lot's of bad days but it means that when I feel guilty for being happy I know that there people would want me to enjoy life.


So my current life mission is to find what I am meant to do here, you know those big questions that no-one but me knows the answer too. Along the way I will enjoy life too.

Love, light and blessings to you all

Kelebek

K.I.S.S

So I was reminded of K.I.S.S today... Keep It Simple Silly

When I posted my first post a few days ago. I wanted to start my next post already, instead of doing that I thought about.... and thought about it.... until my head was going to explode with all these thoughts/concepts that wanted to escape my thought stream.

I got to a point though where I became overwhelmed because I fluff things too much, I ramble and add all these unnecesary words (adjective's I think)... I had to blurt it out, stop and think and then simplified it.

So here I am after midnight and have finally posted my 2nd post. So simplify things... just one thing at a time.

So signing of for now
love, peace and blessings to you all
Kelebek

Welcome

If you have made your way to my blog then I welcome you here to the space I broadcast my thoughts into the world wild web.


It's funny when I was thinking of creating this all these thoughts went through my head as to what I was going to put into the first post and now I have blogger bloc...


I have 2 choices 1) I don't post (which you would probably prefer) or 2) I am going to torture you with my rambling rambles.


The name.... I came up with it cause I am Jumpin on the Bandwagon of the mummy blog world. You see I am a SAHM with a georgous little boy and now I am going to be a blogger
:p to those of you rolling your eyes :D
I also need to get on the weight loss wagon, the domestic goddess wagon, the let's be happier wagon and too many more to mention but no doubt you will read about them.


Why... cause I can.
Seriously I have always wanted to be a writer (groan yes everyone wants to be these days) and I have to start somewhere. I have also had a few experiences which reminds me that life is too short and you got to jump in with both feet even if it is someone else wagon.


Aim.... Did I mention I was commitment phobic??? so while my aim is to update this regularly (ideally every day) we will see if that happens (don't want to jinx myself) more of this commitment phobic later.

So signing of for now
love, peace and blessings to you all
Kelebek