Procastination

I am going for a job - eeeek

a full time job - eeeeek
the application closes tomorrow at midnight - eeeek

yes I should be doing that right now and not posting a blog post - ooops

Procastination at it's best. Wish me luck as I get back to it.

love, light and blessings

Kelebek

Sunshine

We have been blessed in this late phase of winter to have a few days of sun and today is also a glorious day.

We will be out and about to enjoy it. I have promised the little boy that we will go the 'milky shakes' - which is code for the golden archers - which is code for the big M*!@&(*^S :D

He loves the 'milky shakes' and the play equipment and the other kids that go there. He doesn't like the food so much and I do feel guilt and shame that on the occasions we have been there for tea and we practically force him to eat their nuggets and fries so that he has some food in his belly and not just the milk. I think it is strange that I want to encourage him to eat all that salt and fat so he can enjoy his sugar :$

We might even go to the 'dinosaur' park first, head into town, grab a sandwhich and then go the milky shakes.

Hope the sun is shining in your part of the world and that you get to go out and enjoy it too.

love, light and blessings
kelebek

Dishes

I really, really hate doing dishes. I would be happy to eat off paper plates and drink from plastic cups but I don't think mother earth will appreciate it.

The big boy really, really hates the dishes too.... if only I suffered from the M A L E condition then maybe I could get away with not doing the dishes... (I am really going to have to get a bit tech savvy and add some emoticons - missing a rolls eyes face right now)

I have resolved to do my dishes after tea about 5/6 times in the week... if I can keep that up for a 3 weeks I will be rewarding myself :D

My problem at the moment is that I am a short term gain person.... (I know there is a technical name for it but I am too tired to find it at the moment) so the short term is that I get to stay on my butt a bit longer. The long term pain is that I am doing my dishes at 5pm when I really should be getting tea ready, especially if I want the little boy to go to bed early instead of him staying up and he get's over tired and goes loopy, literally bouncing off the walls as he run's up the hallway.

So the plan is that after the 3 weeks of mostly doing the dishes at night I will appreciate a cleaner looking kitchen, appreciate being able to get tea done at an earlier time and might be able to get the rest of the house clean enough for visitors.

So here's to getting my dishes done after tea... I will let you know how I go.

love, light and blessings
kelebek

20 minute challenge

Well let's face it, I only had 20 mins last time and I currently have 17 mins until I have to go get the little boy :D

Oh I miss him while he is at childcare but I truly love these days.

I never expected to feel so conflicted by the arrival of the little boy. I am astonished by how quickly I can get frustrated with him when he has been at school all day. How I can loose my patience with him.

My sister is a great mother but have always thought she was a little hard on her boys. We went to her place during the holidays and she was yelling at them (they are in that tween stage) and I thought that she just needed to be a little more patient with them. I smiled indulgently at her so I copped it as she stormed off into her bedroom (she is pregnant so she is extra sensitive). Another time I meet her in town (after school holidays) and she is all calm and serene with my little boy while I am quitely seething cause he is being a typical little 3 yr old argh..... I could tell she was thinking that I just needed to lighten up a little :D

I know we (mum's that is) aren't suppose to say this but there are days that I wish we didn't have him. I know he will never realise this because he is my life, my everything. Maybe that is part of the problem. I don't truly accept and love myself and the little boy really reflects this.

The little boy is such a reflection of our parenting. I can really see it. After a few days of me being 'yelly' at him he will be 'yelly' with me. I do love that I have raised him to speak up though. A few times he has said to me 'you aren't listening to me mummy' and you know what... I wasn't. Really makes me stop, breath, think and start again.

I thought it was my job to teach him about the world but I think he is my biggest teacher.

love. light and blessings
Kelebek

Good intentions

Have to start by saying toasted cheese and sweet chilli sauce sandwhichs are the best!! (and no I am not pregnant for anyone wondering) and even though I am not a chilli fan I even upped the stakes by splashing a little hot chilli sauce on.... results are imminent.


So the little boy is in childcare today.... ahhh bliss after a week of sickness and I haven't been feeling well so a productive morning on facebook and other bloggers site was had when I realised it was Wednesday, which meant it was Tuesday yesturday, which meant I was suppose to fill out the census form.... uhhh yeah didn't happen last night. So I thought with all good intentions that I will have a toasted sandwhich and fill out the form while I was eating.

Then I realised I would have greasy fingers and that would mark the paper.... so I came up with a better plan just stay on the lappy cause a) I am the only one who uses the lappy b) I can wipe the greasy fingermarks off (which also acts as a deterent to other would be users)

I think I am so use to doing things last minute that I actually get off on the adrenalin. I am a procastinator from waaaay back. I will learn one day that it is better for me to get things done asap rather then last minute and I will actually be able to enjoy more things.

In the meantime I need to do some washing, do the dishes and tidy up. I wonder if I can fill out the form as the collector walks down the driveway (it is a long driveway)

love, light and blessings
xKelebek

My space

I have had my alter up for awhile now. It isn't really much but I have claimed it as my space. It is just the top of a tallboy and is probably 50cm x 50 cm.

I got a message that I had to clean it... so I did. I took everything off, wiped the dust off. I had tracked down a beautiful piece of fabric, blue's and purples, a few days ago and put it on. Then I put everything back on. I even dug out my shoebox of crystals that I have had for years but had them packed away from little boy's prying hands.

I know he can still reach it but our room is fairly off limits so I am not too worried about him getting to it :D

I forgot what beautiful pieces I had. I was given a chunk of clear quartz which is from the local area (about 50km from here) and it still has the beautiful red dirt. Set up a couple of my amethyst quartz chunks. I borrowed a wooden bowl that the big boy had made many moons ago to hold my collection of tumble stones. I have some books, my cards, my sage, a few things reminding me about the importance of life. I am really happy with it.

I just need to track down something that I can burn a candle on.... mmmm I am sure the right thing will turn up.

Oh did I mention I found some old diary's!! gosh the ramblings of a younger me.... are certainly something to ponder :D

love, light and blessings
Kelebek

Mothers

I realised today that no matter how old we get we always need our mum's.

I hope for those who don't have mum's (for whatever reason) have someone who is close who can take on that mother role.

My mum recently moved interstate at the beginning of the year and I really wasn't prepared for the loss and grief that I felt when she left and really she is only a phone call away but it still sucked :( I ran into an acquaintance today who is expecting her 2nd child and she was excited to be moving back interstate and closer to her 'mummy'. It was beautiful and sweet to hear her say it and reminded me that no matter how old we are we always need our mum's.

So please remember to give yours a kiss and a hug next time you see her.

Also this reminds me that I need to make sure I am looking after myself so that I have a long life ahead of me and can continue to be the best mother I can be for my boy :D

A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take. - Cardinal Mermillod

Light, love and blessings
kelebek